Now or Never
by Fr333bird
Summary: Merlin has a crush on his best mate's father and he starts to suspect that his interest might be reciprocated.  In a sudden, reckless moment he decides to find out. Modern AU. Warnings: significant age disparity, adult content.


**A/N: content notes/warnings: age disparity like whoa, 17 year old pining and slightly slutty but also virginal Merlin. **

**Blame/thank Sadtomato. I don't even know how this happened; I'm such a people pleaser.  
><strong>**Thanks also go to Donnersun for betaing.**

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><p>Merlin's always been attracted to older men.<p>

Ever since he worked out he was gay he's had a series of crushes on the masters at school or actors on TV. He's never really been interested in boys his own age.

He's utterly inexperienced. He hasn't told anyone that he likes boys. Most of his friends just assume that he's shy. At boarding school their opportunities with the opposite sex are limited anyway so he gets away with not having to try and do anything with girls.

His crush on Arthur's father started innocently enough.

Merlin's been friends with Arthur ever since they started school. They had beds next to each other in the dormitory, and Arthur took Merlin under his wing right from the day one. They're chalk and cheese in many ways but somehow the friendship works. And Arthur's so confident, so sure of himself that nobody ever questions it.

Merlin was always aware that Arthur's dad, Uther, was a handsome man. Merlin's mum was the one who mentioned it first, commenting on his film star good looks, saying that he'd make a great James Bond if he was ten years younger.

It wasn't until Merlin's hormones kicked in with a vengeance when he was fourteen, that he actually found himself blatantly ogling his best mate's father, wondering what his body was like under his well-cut suits and whether he'd smell as good as he looked.

He found Uther creeping into his fantasies as he wanked at night. Somehow having Arthur in the next bed only made Merlin come faster, the dirty-wrongness of it turning him on all the more.

Uther remained there, in Merlin's fantasies and in the periphery of his life. Present for sports days and speech days and end of term concerts; handsome, suave and altogether too good-looking to be real.

XOXOXOX

Merlin lies beside the pool of the villa, squinting up between starry-wet lashes at the deep blue of the sky.

The sun's baking even though it's only mid-morning and he knows he ought to put more sun block on. But he bides his time, waiting until Arthur goes into the house to fix himself a drink or snack. Arthur's constantly hungry, so Merlin knows it'll only be a matter of time.

Finally his patience is rewarded and Arthur wanders off, leaving Merlin and Arthur's father alone by the side of the pool. Merlin sits up and reaches for the bottle of suntan lotion, pouring some into his hands and rubbing it into the pale skin of his long limbs. He flashes Uther a quick glance out the corner of his eye and notices with satisfaction that the older man is watching him again. Merlin's always deliciously aware of the grey gaze that seems to follow Merlin more and more frequently as the days of the holiday pass.

He stretches awkwardly, twisting his torso, then huffs in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Mr Pendragon, but would you mind awfully...?" He trails off, holding out the bottle hopefully.

"Of course." The older man sets his newspaper aside and moves to crouch behind the boy. "And it's Uther, Merlin. Honestly, how many times?"

"Sorry," Merlin grins and lies down on his belly.

He tries not to react as he feels Uther's hands on him. The skin of Merlin's back is cool, still damp from his last dip in the pool, and as Uther's warm touch skims the bones of his shoulder blades and the bumps of his spine Merlin shivers slightly. He can hear every soft breath from the man above him, hyper-aware of Uther's rare proximity. Merlin feels his prick start to fill, trapped between his body and the ground.

XOXOXOX

Merlin doesn't think that he's been imagining the tension that been building between himself and Uther all week. He's sure that this is more than just a product of his admittedly fevered imagination. Uther watches him, but is careful to look away whenever Arthur's around. Merlin watches Uther too and when their eyes meet, Merlin always holds Uther's gaze for a little longer than is socially appropriate. But Uther does the same to Merlin; it's a game that takes two.

Merlin's constantly horny. He's seventeen, still a virgin. Hell, he's never even kissed anyone. But he's burning up with want, so ready to be touched that he feels like he could combust from it.

Arthur slopes off every night for long whispered conversations with Gwen on his phone, while Merlin goes to his room and wanks himself raw while thinking about his best friend's father. His fantasies get filthier as the week progresses. He wants Uther to show him, to teach him, to let him try out all the things he longs to try.

XOXOXOX

The last night before they fly back, Arthur goes to bed early. He claims tiredness, too much sun. But Merlin knows he's sneaking off for more phone sex with Gwen. Arthur always denies it when Merlin teases him about it, but his flush gives him away.

Merlin stays up, playing chess with Uther. They lean close over the board. If Merlin inhales deeply enough he can smell the warm scent of the man opposite him, the hint of his cologne, the brandy he's drinking.

They all drank a little with dinner. Uther let them both have red wine with the meal and Merlin feels a little blurry round the edges, fizzing with a strange kind of tension.

It's the last night. It's now or never.

Merlin has that feeling you get sometimes when you're outside, looking in on yourself; that this evening - this night - is somehow going to be a defining moment in his life. It's going to affect everything that comes after.

Merlin's attention isn't on the game at all.

"Checkmate." Uther's voice takes him by surprise. Merlin hadn't realised he'd left himself so open.

"Oops," he looks up and grins.

Uther returns his smile. "Your heart wasn't really in it tonight, Merlin. You usually play better than that."

"Well, if you get me drunk it's bound to impair my performance," Merlin teases, holding the steel-grey gaze.

Uther's not smiling anymore. He studies Merlin's face intently and Merlin feels his cheeks flush. He licks his lips, a nervous gesture - not calculated for once - and Uther's eyes drop to Merlin's mouth. Then he almost visibly shakes himself, as though coming out of a trance.

"Well," he says, his voice unnaturally loud and jovial. "You'd better get yourself to bed, Merlin. We've got an early start tomorrow."

Merlin's shot through with disappointment. He suddenly feels foolish for having any expectation that something might happen. _This is Arthur's father_, he reminds himself. _Even if he looks at you sometimes, he's hardly going to _do_ anything. He's nearly thirty years older than you for fuck's sake._

"Yeah, I guess so." He knows he's pouting and he can't stop himself. He helps Uther clear away the chess pieces mechanically. Their hands brush as they both reach to put a piece in the box at the same time, and Uther pulls his hand back as though he's been burned. But Merlin's feeling too despondent to count this as a victory. He feels as though he's missed his chance.

He stands and walks ahead of Uther up the stairs.

"Merlin," Uther's voice makes him turn, a flicker of hope in his belly. They stare at each other for a moment and Uther's lips twist in a smile of kindness, tinged with regret. "Goodnight," he says softly.

"'Night," Merlin replies, then goes into his room and throws himself down on the bed feeling empty and let-down.

XOXOXOX

Merlin knows it's wrong but he can't help himself. It's like he's being driven by something, a need so strong that he can't resist it.

He's been lying in his bed, twisted in the sheets, unable to sleep, burning with frustration. He tried to wank but he doesn't want his own hand anymore. He's tired of bringing himself off to lonely thoughts and fantasies.

He wants more.

So, he gets out of bed. And without letting himself think too much about what he's doing, he creeps silently down the corridor and lets himself into Uther's room.

He pauses in the doorway, half-expecting Uther to wake and challenge him immediately. But the room is silent apart from the soft sounds of Uther's breathing.

Merlin closes the door behind him, the click of the lock shockingly loud in the night-time quiet. He stands there for a moment, quivering with anticipation, his breathing shaky. Then he takes a deep breath and moves, sliding soundlessly through the darkness, lifting the sheet and slipping into bed behind Uther. He curls in carefully, pressing close, the heat of Uther's sleep-warm skin seeping into him.

They're both only wearing underwear and the sensation of skin on skin makes Merlin shudder with pleasure.

Uther stirs and mumbles in his sleep as Merlin's hand finds his hip and rests there, just above the waistband of his boxers, tracing tiny circles with his fingertips. He starts to press gentle kisses on the smooth skin of Uther's back, and waits for him to notice.

"Merlin," Uther's voice is sleep-rough as he finally starts and turns, gripping Merlin's wrist and holding it, painfully. His breath washes over Merlin's face, toothpaste and brandy and warmth. "What are you...?"

Merlin leans in and presses his lips to Uther's. He's clumsy, pushing out his tongue, greedy to taste. Uther's mouth is open in surprise and Merlin licks at him, desperate, wanting to inspire desire. Uther's frozen for a moment, and Merlin expects to be pushed away. But then Uther makes a noise like a groan, helpless-sounding, and his tongue is in Merlin's mouth, hot and wet and insistent and his hands slide around and pull Merlin close.

They kiss for a while, hot and messy and chaotic until Uther takes control and slows things down with his hands in Merlin's hair, soothing him, petting him, running down the length of his spine and rolling him on top of Uther so their cocks are pressed hard together through the flimsy fabric of their underwear. Merlin's hard, so hard it hurts and he's afraid that he'll come before Uther touches him if they keep kissing like that, pressed close.

He breaks away from Uther's mouth and kisses his neck, his chest, everything he can reach. He wriggles down the older man's body, discovering the warm, reassuring scent of his hairy chest, the surprising tightness of his nipples, the smooth skin of his flanks. Merlin moves lower still, Uther's hands in his hair, and noses at the outline of Uther's cock through his boxers. He smells of musk and man and it makes Merlin's mouth water and his prick throb.

He reaches for the waistband and speaks for the first time. "Can I?"

Uther doesn't reply, but he moves his hands to his underwear and pushes them down. Giving permission without words.

"I've never done this before," Merlin murmurs, his nose buried in Uther's pubic hair. He licks a tentative stripe up Uther's cock and chuckles in surprise when it twitches.

Uther laughs softly. "Just go with your instincts. It's not rocket science."

So Merlin curls his fingers around Uther's prick and pumps it a few times, feeling the hot, silky slide of skin; the hardness beneath. Then he takes the head in his mouth and sucks experimentally.

Uther makes a soft sound of appreciation and Merlin smiles around his cock, sucking harder, using his tongue. He takes Uther a little deeper and starts to bob his head up and down.

"That's good, Merlin," Uther murmurs. His hands are back in Merlin's hair, stroking lightly. Merlin feels them skim his ears, the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck. He shivers and settles down on the mattress, pressing his aching prick into the sheets and grinding a little, needing the contact as he sucks.

Uther's cock is wet now, Merlin's mouth making sloppy sounds as he sucks and licks faster, more confidently. He hears Uther's breathing getting ragged and feels the tension in his thighs where Merlin's hands press on them. Knowing that he's having this effect on Uther, getting him close, is amazing. He feels so powerful, so special. Merlin wants so badly to be good at this.

He pulls off just for a moment, his jaw aching a little. "Is this okay?" he whispers, wishing he could see Uther's face in the dark. "I want to make you come."

"You will," Uther's voice is warm as he strokes Merlin's cheek, thumbs at his spit-slick lips. "You're my good boy, Merlin. You're doing really well... you're going to make me come so hard."

Merlin smiles, knowing that Uther can feel the smile even if he can't see it.

He dips his head and gets back to sucking.

"Touch my balls," Uther gasps. "Stroke them while you suck."

Merlin complies, feeling the weight of them with careful fingers, rolling them gently as they tighten in his hand.

"Yes, Merlin... like that." Uther brings his hand to Merlin's cheek, feeling the press of his cock through the flesh, touching the place where he's sliding wetly in and out of Merlin's mouth.

Merlin feels Uther's hips buck as his whole body tenses, and then he shudders and comes in Merlin's mouth, warm and salty and bitter and everything that Merlin's been waiting for. He chokes a little and pulls off.

"Oh yes, Merlin. That's a good boy," Uther touches his fingers to Merlin's throat, feeling the bob as he swallows. "Well done."

He grabs Merlin's bony shoulders in his large hands and pulls him down, kissing him, reaching into Merlin's pants, grasping his cock. Merlin thrusts into his grip, hard and leaking. "_Please_," he begs, not even sure what he's asking for. He just needs to come - somehow, anyhow - as soon as possible.

Uther rolls him over onto his back and moves down his body, spreading Merlin's legs wide as he pulls off his briefs. His mouth is everywhere; on Merlin's chest, his belly, licking at his hipbones, his balls. He moves lower still and Merlin stifles a cry as Uther's hot breath washes over his hole followed by the sweep of his tongue, wetting him, pressing into his sensitive flesh.

Then Uther's fingers are there instead. As he takes Merlin's cock into the smooth heat of his mouth a finger presses inside, stretching and twisting and making heat spark somewhere deep inside. One more strong suck of Uther's mouth and a curl of that finger and Merlin's whole body arches helplessly as his cock pulses, and his hole clenches rhythmically as he comes and comes and comes.

He collapses back, spent and boneless as Uther lets Merlin's cock slip from between his lips. He presses a kiss to the tip before he moves up the bed to lie beside Merlin. He pulls him close and kisses his forehead, stroking his hair again.

Merlin curls himself around Uther, like he wants to get inside his skin, wrapping his long limbs around the solid bulk. Uther holds him for a while, running his hands over Merlin's back, drawing patterns on his skin.

But eventually he pulls away, unwrapping Merlin's pliant arms, sleep-heavy. He kisses Merlin's lips gently and whispers.

"You need to go back to your own bed now, Merlin."

Merlin whimpers a little in protest, but he knows that Uther's right. So he untangles himself from Uther and the sheets, and finds his briefs, pulling them back on as he perches on the edge of the bed.

Uther squeezes his shoulder with a warm grip and releases him as Merlin stands to leave.

"Goodnight, Merlin," he says as Merlin pauses in the open doorway, looking at Uther's smile in the light that slants through from the hallway.

"'Night," Merlin replies, then closes the door silently behind him.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading. This is definitely a one-shot, for real!**


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